Is it possible for an introvert to become an extrovert? As I head into my mid forties, this question has become more prevalent. In my thirties, the very thought of having extroverted tendencies was laughable. I had absolutely no desire to be social in any way.
However, recent changes in my life has made me question the very foundation of my own personality. A discussion with me ten years ago would’ve uncovered a strong bias towards introversion and an adamant belief that a switch was impossible. Now, my mind is open to this possibilty as a result of the choices I’ve recently made regarding my future.
Woke
Two months ago, I lost my job at a large retail chain. At the time of course, it was painful and depressing. But in less than a week, I came to the realization that the Universe was ushering me toward something new and great. It brought to my attention a complacency that had took root in my life. My lifelong dream of becoming a writer had become a fairy tale.
The nature of the firing snapped my eyes open to the realities of the corporate world. They are bottom line focused and that’s pretty much it. Employees like myself were only a tiny, instantly replaceable cog in an immovable societal machine. In the following days, I developed a disdain for the corporate structure that made me never want to be a part of it again.
Change
In order for this to become a possibility, I had to revist my dreams of becoming a published writer. The only way to escape the employer-employee dynamic was to go into business for myself. And that only way I could do that was to write. The Universe forced me into action. I realzied that this may be my last opportunity to fulfill my dreams before my time here on Earth winded down.
The first thing I did was create a Facebook writing page. I use it to display some of my work, mostly in the form of flash fiction. It at least allows me to show my talent to anyone who may be interested.
Then, I created a Twitter account to connect and network with fellow writers, both established and those new to the profession, like myself. This platform has unexpectedly become my primary source for learning about all aspects of the craft. The writing community is extremely helpful and eager to answer all of my questions. It continues to be an invaluable wellspring of crucial information, which is provided directly from career professionals.
Perhaps the most difficult transition that I have made is internal and isn’t necessary writing related. However, I believe it was a crucial step forward on my quest for publication. It was the creation of something I never imagined could be a part of my existence: a YouTube channel.
Most mornings, I enjoy a 45 minute walk to start my day. After each walk, I find a spot in the park and record myself talking for about 15 minutes. The topics I discuss are wide-ranging and off the cuff, usually coming into focus during the walks. Sometimes, the idea doesn’t show itself until after I tap record on my phone. This medium is by far the most difficult for me. It requires me to leave my image and personality on display for people to view at any time. I had to break out of my shell of introvesion to explore the depths of my personality.
New Version
The incorporation of these social mediums into my everyday life is a complete turnaround from what I viewed as my reality only two months ago. Just as my outside life changed in the in the blink of eye, so too must I make changes to my internal life as well. I cannot be a successful writer any other way. If I can’t learn how engage openly with people, then I might as well go work at gas station.
And that is not what I am destined to do. I am writer. The Universe had to punch me in the face to finally wake me up. I took the necessary initial steps required to being my desired future into fruition. Although posting those YouTube videos of myself is still nerve wrecking, the anxiety subsides with each passing week. I have a heightened sense of confidence and a strong determination that I have never had.
I believe that the mere realization of what the Universe is doing for me is the source of my newfound self worth. It is nudging me out of my comfort zone while creating a new one simultaneously. The difficult part for me as I continue forward in my career is maintaining a balance so that I don’t lose my identity by inventing an entirely new persona.
Do I think I’m a becoming an extrovert? No. I believe that I am becoming a new version of myself that is based on introverted qualities while incorporating only the extroverted tendencies that would help me continue to evolve into a well rounded and successful human being. I don’t need to become a new version. I only need to become the real version of myself that the Universe needs me to be.
Jay Owens 