*Disclaimer: I am not an anthropologist. I am merely interested in a lot of things and as I write this blog post, this subject happens to be at the forefront of my thoughts. I use this blog similar to a journal where I expound on my own thoughts, beliefs and experiences. In no way am I attempting to persuade anyone to follow these beliefs.
I ask that you put yourself in my shoes for just a moment. I’m a 42 year old black man from Chicago, who now lives in Alabama.
First, I am 42 years old, which means I’m a middle aged human. After the age of 40, relevance begins to diminish in a teenage and young adult-fueled society such as our current one. These younger generations are what drive our society. They are the targets of nearly every piece of advertising you see. Although middle aged people are valued as consumers, we are not the focal demographic, which means my opinions matter less to the world as a whole. This realization bruises my ego but it is what it is.
Second, I am black. As much as I want to believe that society has progressed away from racism, I cannot logically come to this conclusion. Instead of actually becoming less racist, society has gotten more capable of masking and hiding its prejudices. I’m sure that on a subconscious level, I do this as well. It is not our fault. We are programmed by society, maybe even by evolution, to be clannish. Unfortunately, it has become our nature as humans.
Next, I am a man. Normally, this would not be something that would require its own paragraph. But in current society, with its trends for movements and hashtags, males have gotten destroyed lately. Controversy this, controversy that, each day there appears to be something new that I need to be aware of. I recently got fired for a comment that would have been dismissed as a joke in previous, less offensive societies. This is not to say that my comment was not in bad taste, nor am I trying to diminish the feelings of those that are offended. I am only expressing my frustration for the need to change behaviors and language that were previously and widely accepted. I understand the concern from the woman’s point of view, but that doesn’t stop the stress I experience when constantly examining every single word that comes out of my mouth.
I am from Chicago. Everyone by now, especially in this age of readily available information, knows how crime ridden certain areas of this city are. This has resulted in a cultural stigma that precedes the true make up of my home town. Yes, there are dangerous neighborhoods in Chicago, as are in any big city, but violence is not the only thing worth noting. It is frustrating after telling people where I’m from, that their first comment is usually something like, “Wow, it’s rough up there.” As true is this statement is, it would still be nice to hear something more pleasant like, “Hey, the skyline there is spectacular at night,” which is also a true statement.
Finally, and perhaps even most importantly, I live in Alabama. Why am I mentioning this? Well, everyone is familiar with the racial history of the South. I mean they have their own flag, so it is easy to see that their moral values are a bit different than the rest of the country. I have a running joke about southern states: They should annex themselves from the United States to become their own entity- The United States South. Sort of like that Brexit thing. I have yet to been called the dreaded N-word, but I believe it’s only a matter of time before that happens. Also, hopefully this only my imagination, whenever I’m at a place where I’m the only black person, there is a palpable tension in the air. My girlfriend of eight years is white. Sometimes when out in public together, I get weird looks and stares from white people, usually the older generations. I would imagine that it would be like that nearly anywhere, but I’m sure that is less progressive and more obviously blatant here in the south.
All of these things, individually and in their accumulative totality, are what I deal with on a daily basis. It is difficult at times, but it so commonplace that I have come to accept them as merely a part of my life. It is what my society consists of. Aside from being a revolutionary Malcolm X type, there isn’t anything I can do to change any parts of it. What I can do however, which is becoming a necessity now, is alter my own thoughts, words and behaviors. If I cannot evolve at the same rate as society, then I will be left behind.
Jay Owens 